Munday

Today was remarkably average. I've never had a milder day in all my years of school (with the exception of elementary, which I don't remember all that well). Dance was fine. History was okay, big disappointment as always, what with my partner sighing and clicking her nails and crunching her hands--only today she had to speak!, and I gladly would take a dozen more listens of nail-clicking than hear that voice again. Anyway. French was good...I couldn't stop grinning, B-who-sits-across-from-me's laughter is unbelievably contagious. Really. I love all the freshman in my class. Have I mentioned that? I love them.
Bio was kind of a dud. We moved seats, and I don't mind too much where I'm sitting now if not for the fact that I'm all the more closer to Teacher, whose voice is, I swear, even worse than Partner's (but in a completely different way). I don't know what it is with me and voices; a person's voice seems to have a big effect on what I think of them. Hah, it's probably not good to have this bias/prejudice but I admit, I immediately like a person who has a nice voice, and if someone's is as loud, sharp, and obnoxious as this Teacher's, I'm thinking negatively of them right away. I do have reason for not liking her, though--she treats all of us like we're totally inadequate, or like we're kindergarteners, or like we don't speak English properly (we're all fairly fluent). She sighs if we miss anything at all, and then when she corrects us she acts completely exasperated, as if whatever we're missing is something the lowliest, stupidest being could understand. It's infuriating. I bet she doesn't treat her honors class like this.

Anyway, lunch was the most uneventful of all. I was looking forward to this, and the people I wanted to see weren't there (well, one of them was. At a distance.). At least it wasn't bad. It was just. You know. Boring. A was in a good mood, and other A ate with us! I was happy about that. I got to walk with her to my english class, which cheered me up. I don't know why I like her so much (I don't even know her well yet), I just know that I've felt a certain connection to her since we first met.
In english I wrote a journal entry about what I thought it meant to be a hero. That was it (I really miss honors. It was a lot of work, but at least we DID THINGS from time to time). I wrote about how I thought sacrificing something you care about to help another is an act of heroism, but then I changed my mind halfway through and started a counter-argument. It's a messy paper, lots of scribbles, probably very confusing for the teacher to read.
Math was the exact same as it is every day, I don't even need to describe that.


Ate:








justthoughtyoushouldknowthatkthx

I found out today that, should I go to MI, I will miss the Halloween festivities here.
This SUCKS., especially what with everything going on now. I can't miss either...I can't choose. It doesn't help that I am the most indecisive person ever to walk Earth.
Giving up Michigan means giving up seeing the grandma I barely ever see, not to mention missing out on actual fall weather, freezing, leave-crunching, scarf-wearing, hot-drink-digesting...everything else this entails, weather. And the scenery there is another factor entirely. The nature conservatory. The trees, visiting MSU, I miss/want IT ALL.

On the other hand, I can't miss Halloween here. Can't. I won't bother to write out why.

Heh uhh.

Listening to (Aviv):


and you should too.

TEN things you wish you could say to TEN different people right now:

1. I don't know you that well yet, but I definitely like you, very much.
2. Your touching me was the most/closest physical contact I've gotten at all since *summer*, and now because of that I keep thinking about you. the shallowest reasons. And I'm craving more. I need a hug more than I've ever needed one.
3. I wonder what your breakdown today was due to, and I want you to cheer up.
4. You're the biggest creeper I've ever met.
I am serious.

Needless to say, I've met some huge creepers.

Go away.
5. I've never wanted to meet someone so much!
6. I can't pull myself away from that song of yours, it's nostalgic in the deepest, most personal way, and I can't put my finger on why it makes me happy and makes me ache.
7. I forgot to look for you.
8. I want to know you very badly!!!!! I wish I could be closer to you. And I will be. If you tolerate it.
9. Treat her good, will ya?
10. You're an inspiration to me and reading that cheers me incomprehensibly.

NINE things about yourself:
1. Growing better (and prouder. That is, less unproud.)
2. I am a pig and have weird mindsets when it comes to food.
3. The state of my room reflects hugely on my mood.
4. I'm addicted to hugs now
5. I make up weird myths about tea
6. I go by Mai Pen Lai!
7. I don't care as much anymore, and it's a very exciting thing to comprehend
8. I don't have much tolerance for posers or knuckle-crackers.
9. I don't like girls.

EIGHT ways to win your heart:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8. Be yourself and if the shoe fits,...


SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:
1. Fall
2. Beats
3. He
4. Jared
5. Astrid
6. "The concept that I have to be one thing and stick with it. I am only now beginning to realize that it's okay if I just AM and don't try to think about it too much or work around anything."
^ keeping this
7. Mai pen lai.

SIX things you wish you never did:
1. Get too involved in internet friendships and.....whatnot
2. slack off last year
3. keep and get attached to all the crap in my room. What a bother
4.
5. tell _ too much and knowingly imply things I didn't mean
6. Not sign up for 800 dance classes this summer

FIVE turn offs:
1. People who snap to get others' attention
2. KNUCKLE CRACKERS
3. Thoughtless, careless people
4. people who have ear oil on their phone screens
5. Illiterate people writing badly read poetry

FOUR turn ons:.
1. Cleverness. I'm a sucker for wit
2. People who let you know how they feel about you!
3. People who are themselves, I cannot stress this enough
4. Genuine intelligence, and a way with words doesn't hurt

THREE smileys that describe your life:
1. 8DDDDDDDD
2. (:
3. :|

TWO things you want to do before you die:
1. Meet Torrin and Jared
2. Find the person and also find what I'm meant to do (I can't just put two things).

ONE confession:
I think reading Geo of Bliss was a huge soul-picker-upper. It's been helpful in more ways and more frequently than I can count, or have realized, probably.

Oops, relapsing to unorganization. I'm going to end this before I screw up the blog even more. Heh, spill.

Last night, I had a Moon session. I haven't had one in forever, and it was really nice. Lots of Sufjan involved. It helped, but not enough: I got up half an hour later to watch House on my mom's bed. It was such a weird night. I tossed and turned and got up repeatedly for water. Lots of mixed dreams, too.